The Grab Bag Blog

But not your typical day.

This has been the most random, bizarre day I’ve had in…well, quite a while.  I actually thought this day was going to start out bad because Paul and I had an argument, which is never good first thing in the morning (especially when I haven’t had my coffee yet).  I didn’t let it get me down and proceeded to report to Liberal Arts and Science Academy to fill in for Great Ideas I (Humanities) and AP English IV for my good friend while she was on a field trip.

LASA runs on block scheduling, so today was “B Day” and even numbered classes.  Second period went on the field trip, so I was sitting by myself in the classroom enjoying the quiet when a group of kids went trooping by the door banging coconuts together.  Um…ok.  I guess they were channeling Monty Python?  Then, in fourth period, while the students were writing their in-class essays, someone came in and asked me if I had any mayonnaise.  Why the heck would I have mayonnaise?

Lunch was even stranger.  I hung out in the classroom to eat my lunch.  A group of kids came in waving a plastic ziplog bag filled with practically translucent circular creatures and hollering, “Mrs. Leonard, check out our baby jellyfish!  Aren’t they cute?”  There were, indeed, baby jellyfish in the bag.  Not kidding.  After that, they decided to randomly play “Constellations.”  One of them would holler out a constellation and then they’d proceed to form the constellation with their bodies.  Orion was particularly interesting.

And then there was the Irish step dancing up and down that hall (that was pretty fun).  One of my coworkers came in and started talking about getting drunk while playing  Trivial Pursuit, but quietly so the kids wouldn’t hear.  It was really funny at how obviously careful she was being, whispering loudly and I kept trying not to laugh, though I agreed that getting schnockered would definitely make the game more interesting (I normally don’t have conversations like this at work).

Sixth period had a study hall, so the kids were pretty much doing whatever they wanted.  I kept hearing, “Zelenka” coming from the back of the room and it would distract me.  I tried to discretely listen to see if they were having a conversation about Stargate (which isn’t so unusual in a school full of science geeks), but it seems like they were talking about computer programming.  Damn.  Then, a girl yelled out, “Why are you looking up pictures of broccoli?” out loud to her classmate, startling all of us.  One of my former students from last year saw me through the classroom door, opened it and called, “Mrs. Leonard!  FOR THE SLIG!!!” (that’s an in-joke from last year).

Eighth period, thank god, was completely normal.  I’m posting this while the Seniors are doing research and nothing out-of-the-ordinary has occurred (yet!).

My days as a substitute teacher are not generally this exciting and it’s actually nice to have a completely bizarre, wacky day where the universe has turned itself on its ear just for me.  Embrace the crazy!  I love it!

Yeah, if that title sounds totally insane, it is. I’m back working for Lindamood-Bell this summer as a Clinician. The totally awesome cool thing is that they’re opening a PERMANENT learning center right here in Austin! That likely means a long-term job for me. SO COOL! Especially
since my prospects of landing a full-time teaching job are pretty bleak right now. I’ve actually been in talks with LBLP since March. They brought me on board in May to act as Star Trainer for the new Clinicians. I also got a refresher on the primary programs. This year’s Star Cast is superb and we all make a great team. I absolutely love working for LBLP and it’s awesome to see us changing lives! Our primary programs are: Seeing Stars (phonemic and symbol imagery…aka, learning to read), Visualization and Verbalization (reading comprehension), and LiPS (Lindamood Phonemic Sequencing…speech therapy).

I am also being trained to administer pre and post intervention testing. There are 14 tests in the battery, so I have a lot to learn, but I’m loving it!

I was cast in a short film called “Girl Games” and shot about three weeks ago. I played a ditzy, boozy chick named Mary who hit up the main character at a Speed Dating party (which she thought was an AA meeting). It was a lot of fun, if not flipping hot. We shot in a house and had to keep the A/C off so it wouldn’t get picked up on the sound. Shooting in a hot Texas summer with no A/C was grueling. My makeup kept having to be redone because I was sweating so much. The film should be out sometime later this summer.

The director for the music video I shot in May asked if I’d do another. Time and location are TBA, but I said yes! He was a lot of fun to work with.

Lately, I’ve been writing and composing a bunch of sci-fi/geek songs. Some of them started off as poems and tunes popped into my head. I turned one of them, “Sitting On My Daddy’s Knee” into a Father’s Day present for dad. I’ve been figuring out chords and stuff on the guitar, which I’ve never actually done before. I’ve just played songs. Hey, I didn’t know I could compose guitar music! Now I just need to learn how to read tabs. I’ve got one song left to write. The songs are:

1. No Technobabble Allowed in Scrabble
2. Sci-Fi State of Mind (so exhausting to play, but lots of fun!)
3. Sitting On My Daddy’s Knee
4. Crush on Wesley Crusher
5. Hair Like a Betazoid
6. Conned Into a Con
7. Stargate Tribute

I will find some way of putting them online once they’re recorded.

Nora is at her grandparents’ for the weekend so Paul and I could spend some time together.  We dropped her off this morning and went to Home Depot to buy a new toilet seat.  The one in the guest bath is busted.  Then we went to the restaurant supply store and Paul whacked me with a French whip.  He French Whipped me in public!  Then, lunch at Plucker’s where I ordered some really tasty wings that were ultimately too spicy for me!  We saw Super 8 at the movie theater, then went home and relaxed for a few hours.  We both got semi-gussied up and went to dinner at Red Lobster, where we stuffed ourselves silly.  I had a gift-card that my parents gave us a while back.  Now we’re home and groaning from all the food.

Ok, so everyone has been asking me about how the video shoot went yesterday, so here you go:

First of all, I was amused (and depressed) to find myself with stage fright on Saturday.  Hello!  I haven’t had stage fright in 18 years!  I settled on the couch with a chocolate bar and fired up Stargate Atlantis on Netflix to try and calm myself down and sent a tweet about it.  A short time later, I was very surprised to discover that David Hewlett (who plays Dr. Rodney McKay on SGA) responded with…well, here’s a screenshot.

I guess I really needed that because, after cracking up and/or geeking out, I found that all the tension and stress was gone.  I felt a lot better and was calm and focused, like I’m used to being before a performance.  Thank you, David!

Sunday went very well.  The music video is for a band called Brain Idea.  They’re out of Chicago and were just signed on with a major label (don’t know which one).  The song is called “I Am Free” and the director played it for me.  It’s a pretty cool song and I was easily able to see how the song fits the concept of the video.  I’m planning on checking out their work because I liked what I heard.

I spent the first little bit standing out of the way watching the gaffer set up the lights and the DP mess with the camera, which was attached to a crane on a dolly.   The “human space bag” wasn’t there yet, so we did some shooting of me vacuuming me random stuff into space bags…clothes…fruit…hand lotion…you’ll see when the video comes out.  After that, I checked out the snack table and discovered Fig Newtons!  YUMMY!  Then the big space bag arrived…it’s hard to describe, but I’ll try.  It was pretty much a plastic frame with a latex bag over it and a valve attached to one side with a shop vac.  The actor wore a gas mask that fits into a hole in the top.  He slid into the bag and they sealed it up by rolling the loose end over a plastic tube and securing it with clamps.  Turn on the vac, the air is sucked out and the latex conforms to the actor’s body.  It was really creepy, but cool looking.  We filmed a lot of me doing that and shots of the actor inside the “space bag.”  I felt pretty bad for him because the gas mask was really tight.  I wouldn’t have been able to do it without freaking out from claustrophobia.

We also filmed me cleaning him with CLR and a paper towel because the director thought that would be funny.  I told you it was bizarre!  Definitely one of the strangest things I’ve ever done.  I had to do a lot of kneeling and crawling on the floor, so my knees are pretty banged up and sore.  We got done filming around 9, so I headed home.  It was a really cool experience and I can’t wait to do it again!  I took a photo of me on the set between takes.

And as a funny ending to the evening, in the parking garage I saw the PBS van with “Hewlett Family of Cars” on the back (one of their sponsors).  Coincidence?

I began writing letters to Nora shortly after she was born.  My letters usually contain updates on her growth or events that have happened recently.  I often include my wishes and dreams for her.  It’s something I’m going to give her when she graduates from high school.  I don’t write as frequently as I used to, maybe every couple of months now.  This is not something I’d normally publish, but I don’t know…I just felt like I wanted to share this one because it’s something I feel strongly about, not just for my own daughter (although I’m addressing specifically her in the letter), but for all our children.  This comes straight from the heart of a parent and teacher:

April 29, 2011

Hi Nora…

I pray that you realize how important math and science are.  Your daddy is very good at math and I hope that you have his gift for numbers (it’s ok if you don’t).   I had an affinity for the life sciences, especially biology.  I dreamed about becoming a marine zoologist for a long time, later a doctor.  While I’m happy with the decisions I’ve made with my life, sometimes I regret not becoming a scientist.  All the required math scared me and I had no idea what I was actually capable of.   I took college algebra at the age of 27 and somehow managed to get the highest score in a class of 150 and it seemed easier than it did in high school.  That was the day I realized (all too late) that maybe I wasn’t as dumb as I thought I was when it came to math.  That was further confirmed when I once tried to figure out how to calculate the area of a parabola (something I never learned how to do in school).  I didn’t really know what I was doing, but your Grandfather Allen (who has a degree in math) told me I was on the right track.  Hey, guess what?  Your mom can do math!  Whodathunkit?!  Unfortunately, the fear of math kept me from following a different career path than the one I chose.  But, I still love science with a passion and I hope you’ve inherited my fascination and curiosity of this wonderful world that God has given us.

Best science classes I ever took?  Biotechnology in high school.  HOLY COW!  That was an awesome class.  I got to manipulate genes and do all sorts of crazy things involving rabbits and electrophoresis chambers and calf thymus DNA.  Mwah ha ha ha!  It was a lot of fun, but also a big challenge since I had skipped AP Biology II.  The teacher knew how much I loved Biology, so let me take the class anyway.  As hard as Chemistry was because of the math, I actually really liked it.  It was fun trying not to blow myself up!  I won’t even get into the time my lab partner spilled diluted hydrochloric acid on me…one word: OUCH!  In college, I took Astronomy and that was the BEST CLASS EVER.  It was exciting to learn about space and it probably helped that my professor regularly referred to Star Trek.  Yeah, you know your mom’s a huge sci-fi geek.  I really miss taking those kinds of classes.

I earned a Masters in Secondary Education and became a teacher of English, Theater, and Special Education instead.  As a teacher, I’ve seen firsthand what apathy for math and science has done to our children and it scares me.  A lot.  Our nation’s children are slipping further and further down the scale when compared to other countries.   As an educator, I have my ideas on why it’s happening.  As a parent, it makes me downright furious.  I find myself saying, “Not my child.  Hells to the NO!  My kid is NOT going to be like that.  I will do everything it takes to ensure that Nora has the best education I can provide for her so that she can accomplish great things.”

But see, on the other hand, I don’t want to pressure you too much.  I want you to enjoy your childhood and learn because you WANT to, not because you have to.  Like John Dewey and Maria Montessori, I believe that children have an inherent curiosity to learn and explore this world if they’re only given a chance.  Children WANT to learn, but that natural curiosity is squashed and inhibited by our current educational model.  Learning can’t readily be accomplished by stuffing 30 children into a classroom, throwing information at them and hoping something sticks.  I want your education to be a different experience than the ones your dad and I had.

Your daddy is ridiculously smart, so smart that he regularly astounds me.  Your dad was bored in school because he was too clever for the classes and needed enrichment and maybe acceleration (that’s just my theory…of course, I didn’t know your dad growing up, so I’ll never actually know what he needed).  I was also bored in school, but at least I was fortunate to have had a patchwork of gifted and talented opportunities (it was spotty because we moved so much).

You’re only 20 months old, so I don’t know what you’re going to be interested in, but frankly I don’t care.   I will love you however you turn out (just don’t go robbing any stores or murdering anyone, ok?).  I suspect you’re at least as clever as me or your dad (probably more than both of us), so it’s going to be a challenge giving you the education that you need and deserve.  Trust me on this, ok?  Your dad and I really, really care about your intellectual development because all we want is for you to live up to your full potential and have a better experience than we had.

So when you’re sixteen and griping that you don’t want to do your Trigonometry homework, I’m going to show this to you so you know that this is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

Enough of mom worrying.  Let’s go on a bear hunt we’re going to catch a big one!

Love,

Mom

So…remember last post when I said I wasn’t sure about auditioning for anything else because I’m shy?   Well, I’m still shy, but I am discovering just how much fun it is to audition for films.

And weird!  Today was just about the nuttiest day I’ve had in a long time.  I auditioned for a nonspeaking part in a zombie film.  It was crazy fun and  I don’t know if I’ll get it or not, but the whole process was cool and surprisingly challenging.   I don’t know about other actors, but nonspeaking roles are a big challenge because you generally don’t have any background to go on creating the character unless there’s dialogue that other characters provide about you.  I didn’t have any today, so I had to make it all up and do my best acting like a totally normal person who turns into a zombie.

As if my day couldn’t get any weirder, this evening I was asked to audition for a part in a music video playing a woman who likes to vacuum seal stuff in bags…including people.  WHA?!  Ooooookay….

Is it me, or is “Will Play Random WTF Roles” tattooed on my forehead in my headshots?  I think it is.  So I’m just laughing and going with it.  This is totally new for me and I’m enjoying it.  I’ve never branched off into this side of acting before.  My background is almost exclusively in theater.  I like doing plays and I love directing, but I’m really enjoying getting my feet wet and trying out film acting.  I’ve hopped aboard this train and I’m not really sure where it’s going to take me, but I really don’t care as long as I have fun on the journey.  I’m not doing it for the money (because there’s none or very little) or dreaming of “making it big” because I know that’s not going to happen, but purely out of curiosity and stretching my acting skills.

Here’s hoping I have more weird, wacky days!  I love them!

It’s a SAG film, so I’m guessing it’s pretty major.  I’m obviously not in SAG or AFTRA or even Equity.  Um…I was in the Thespian Society back in high school, though!

Gentlemen Gunfighters.  That’s the movie I auditioned for back in January (first film audition ever!). I haven’t heard back from the casting director yet, but it’s between me and another actress so….50/50 shot.  From what I understand, they are waiting for just the right crew people and have decided to delay filming for a few months.  Also just to clarify…this is a TINY role with one line, but it’s a hilarious character and a really great line.  I just hope my screen test went well and I didn’t suck.  I made call-backs, so I must not suck that bad!  You should see the film even if I’m not cast in it because it’s an awesome story and I know it’s going to be great!

So here’s how it went down.  I didn’t really know what to expect, but I didn’t want to look like a Noob and I tried to be very professional during the whole auditioning process.  It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve done any kind of acting and I only did one film before, when I was 18.  It was a pretty cool experience, all told.  The casting directors were super nice and I didn’t feel too nervous.   The worst part was having to drive to San Antonio for the audition.  I spent most of the time sitting in a tiny waiting room with a bunch of people dressed like cowboys and a couple of kids. I was finally called back, where I met the casting director and my future agent (?).  They looked at my  headshots and my resume (was impressed that I have a BA in Drama)  and then had me stand on a mark (that’s a piece of tape on the floor).  I read some stuff into the camera (hooray for breaking the 4^th wall!) and then not looking into the camera and that was it.

24 hours later, I got an email that I’d made call-backs!  YES!!!  I was so excited and surprised, but not looking forward to driving an hour and a half back to San Antonio.  I sat in the waiting room again, this time dressed like Ms. Kitty since my character is a saloon singer…I haven’t worn that much makeup in forever.  I had about 50 pounds of it on (washed it off afterwards as I was afraid I might be mistaken for an employee of the world’s oldest profession).  There were more cowboys there, so we all just sat around and talked.  I had a great time just hanging out in the waiting room and waiting to be called.  When it was finally my turn, there was a casting director (I think…might have been an AD), the writer, and the agent again.  I said my line, pretended to beat up the jerk cowboy, and then they had me do it again.  They were all smiling and someone said I did a good job, so I really hope that’s a good sign!  We’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ve sort of hesitated on auditioning for anything else.  I did it purely for the fun (and it was fun!).  I’m a little shy about doing this, but I had such a good experience with Gentlemen Gunfighters that I might try auditioning for something else.   I’ll just keep my eyes open and see what comes up.

Now that Nora’s 19 months old, I’ve been getting variations on this question a lot.

The answer: not anytime soon.  Of course, unexpected blessings do occur and we will take that into stride if it happens.  We are on the fence about expanding our family.  The easy answer is that it’s mostly financial.  We really can’t afford another baby right now.

The complicated and longer answer is that, for now, we don’t want to.  I am personally open to one (and only one) more baby, but know darn well that we’re not ready right now.  Nora is turning into a lovely toddler, but she’s still a lot of work.  Dealing with a newborn was hard enough without having another child to raise and I genuinely admire the millions of parents that do it with multiple kids.  Having lots of kids is right for those families, but it’s not right for us.  I’d like to enjoy another couple of years of uninterrupted sleep before we add another baby to our family.

And honestly, I’m not sure we’re ready to face another pregnancy.  Most of you know that I battled Hyperemesis Gravidarum (aka HG) for the first 23ish weeks of my pregnancy with Nora.   HG caused me to be the sickest I’ve ever been in my life.  It’s a debilitating disease that quite literally turned me into a helpless person.  There were days I couldn’t get out of bed for the nausea and vomiting.  I vomited 20-30 times a day without medication (2-5 times a day with).  I lost 17 lbs and I’m not a skinny girl.  I missed a lot of work and we had no help with the day-to-day tasks.  I couldn’t do any housework because of the constant nausea and physical weakness.  We couldn’t afford a maid and there was no place for someone to stay who could help us.

Besides the physical trauma, there was the emotional and mental trauma.  HG was very isolating and lonely because I spent a lot time by myself while Paul was at work.   I was too sick to go out and see friends and socialize.  There was a very brief time I really thought I was dying and was terrified I was going to lose the baby (which sometimes happens with HG pregnancies, but not often).  Although HG maternal deaths are rare, they do occur.  I was scared that the baby and I were both going to die.   I was scared to be left alone when I was feeling really bad and I would beg Paul to stay home with me in case I collapsed.  I’ve never said this before, but on my darkest days I simultaneously hated and loved the baby at the same time.  I instantly felt guilty for hating her and I knew HG wasn’t her fault, but it was still there.  I was so sick at one point that I started hoping I would miscarry but then immediately felt terribly guilty and I cried all day because I wanted Nora so much, but hated with a passion what HG was doing to me.  I suppose you won’t really understand unless you’ve been there.   I bottled all that up for so long and it’s only recently that I told Paul about it.  I can’t even begin to imagine the emotional trauma Paul was going through, but I do remember him being angry a lot because there was NOTHING he could do to stop the disease.  Fortunately, I was one of the lucky moms whose HG disappeared in the 2nd trimester (some poor mommies have it all 9 months!).  Believe it or not, I had “moderate” HG.  The rest of my pregnancy was great with no other problems.

As I’m sure you can imagine, I’m not exactly eager to go through that again.  According to research (of which there isn’t much…HG has only been recognized as a real medical condition for about 15 years), I have a 20%-50% chance of getting it with subsequent pregnancies.  That means 1 of 3 scenarios:

1.  I won’t have it.
2.  I will have it and it will be as bad as last time.
3.  I will have it and it will be worse, possibly meaning IV therapy and feeding tubes and bed rest and an angry insurance company and no relief until delivery.

It’s Scenario #3 that I’m the most scared of.  I’d love to have #1 happen.  I can handle #2 if it does because I’ve been there.  The problem is that we really won’t know if #3 will happen until I actually get pregnant.   There is some hope, though.  There’s been some anectodal evidence that you can prepare for a possible HG pregnancy and significantly decrease the symptoms to tolerable or manageable levels.  Several mommies who’ve been through lots of combo HG and non-HG pregnancies have reported better pregnancies by taking preventative steps.  If we decide to have another baby, I have a battle plan in place to combat this illness and try to prevent Scenario #3 from happening and get #2 under control.

I won’t go into details, but the biggest difference seems to be getting treatment ASAP as soon as you know you’re pregnant.  That means going on Zofran or another anti-nausea drugs by 6 weeks and/or the first sign of nausea and sickeness.  I didn’t start taking Zofran until I was 10 weeks pregnant and after I was extremely dehydrated.  I started feeling nauseous around 6 weeks.  I can’t help but wonder if my HG wouldn’t have been as bad if I’d gotten treatment earlier.  So, I plan on getting my hands on Zofran as soon as we know and having it as a stand-by.

We’re also better prepared because we know what to expect.   Hyperemesis Research (HelpHER) is full of checklists and ways to plan (BTW…the forum is a godsend of information and support for HG sufferers and survivors and their families/friends).  We’re in a better place now.  We have a place for someone to stay if HG rears its ugly head again and we need help.  Although I plan on having a midwife and trying for another homebirth, I also want to have an OB on board to help manage my HG or if I’m no longer a good candidate for homebirth.

I’m also losing weight (not just for pregnancy, but because I need to).  Several moms have reported that getting into shape and eating healthier helped reduce HG significantly and it makes sense.  Researchers suspect one of the main causes of HG could be the body’s intolerance of high levels of estrogen that the body produces during pregnancy.  Estrogen hangs around in fat.  If you have a lot of fat, you have a lot of extra estrogen.  Less fat=less estrogen, which is maybe why those women say they had better pregnancies after they lost weight.   That doesn’t mean that all HG moms are overweight.  Not at all.  Many of them are normal weight when HG strikes.  HG can affect anyone.  But it seems that for the ones that are overweight/obese, losing weight helps in subsequent pregnancies.  I wasn’t exactly in great shape when I got preggo with Nora.  I was about 220 pounds and led a pretty sedentary lifestyle.  I’m really trying to change that for a variety of reasons.  I have over ten reasons for losing weight, but one of them is that it might help prevent or lesson HG and that’s a definite motivator!

HG worries/avoidances aside, I’m also well-aware that I’m not exactly a spring chicken.  I’m 33 and the biological clock isn’t going to be ticking for much longer.  I don’t want to have a baby who will be graduating from high school when I’m old enough to collect social security.  I’m not going to be one of those moms who has a last-hurrah at 42 and wants a newborn in the house (Nora would be 11…bleh!).  After 35, you’re unfortunately considered an Old Lady in the baby-birthing business.  Not that it really bothers me.

I can reasonably say that IF, IF we have another baby, it won’t be for at least  another 2 years because I need time to get my body ready and our lives in order before we welcome another Little Leonard.

And Nora potty-trained.

*hanging head in shame, shuffling foot uncomfortably*  Hi blog.  Yeah, it’s been awhile and stuff, hasn’t it?  Look…it’s not like I don’t like you or anything.  I do.  It’s just…you know…life in general sort of got in the way.  If you were a person, I’d say let’s hug and make up…but I’m not going to hug the computer screen.  Paul might think that’s odd, even with my weird tendencies.  How about we settle for me catching you up on things. Deal?  Deal.

So…let’s see…here’s what’s happened since I last updated in August.  I’ll do it in list format because it’s convenient and I don’t feel like writing coherent paragraphs right now.

1.      We moved. YES!  We finally got out of our craphole, roach and bed bug infested, shopping-carts-in-the-parking-lot, drug-bust-every-week, loud neighbors, joke of an apartment.  We moved to northeast Austin to a nice mobile home complex.  For the same amount of money we were paying in rent and a storage unit, we have a double wide home with a detached garage and a yard.

2.      Speaking of yard, we put in a garden last week.  A HONEST TO GOD REAL GARDEN!  I am no longer confined to a bunch of pots lined up like crooks in a lineup against the brick wall of my house.  We planted Anaheim and Poblano peppers, garlic, two different kinds of bell peppers, pickling cucumbers, and pumpkins.  We also have a tomato plant in a pot and I’m growing marigolds from seed.  The fig is back with us, but the orange tree sadly died over the winter.

3.      I somehow lost 25 pounds in a year without trying, but not sure how.  I’ve decided to see how much I can lose in another year if I actually count calories and exercise.  Although I have a goal weight, I’m in no hurry to reach it.  I’m tired of setting goals and not reaching them, so I’m going to take the ultra-lazy approach and see what happens if I give myself 2,000 calories a day and exercise 3-4 times a week for 20 minutes, adjusting my calories and workout as necessary.  Our new neighborhood has a fitness center and I’ve been riding the stationary bike this week.  Hooray for not having to get a gym membership!

4.      I’m still substituting (unfortunately…and I pretty much loathe it at this point, but it’s a job).  While the job market for teachers looks bleak, I might have some options for getting out of subbing and into something related.  I will update if it comes to pass.

5.      Nora is 19 months old and off the growth chart in height.  She’s going to be a tall girl!  She’s in the “everything is mine” phase of toddlerhood.  She sometimes reminds me of the seagulls from “Finding Nemo.”  You know…MINE?!  MINE?!  MINE!!!!

6.      I auditioned for a very very very minor movie role and still haven’t heard anything.  Huh.  Hollywood.  I did it just on a whim because I do miss acting and I have next to no experience in film acting.  The audition was a lot of fun and a good experience.

7.      Projects: knitting a pink wraparound sweater for Nora.  It has purl-increases and I DON’T LIKE THEM!  There, I feel better now.  Also working on another ridiculous Teresa Wentzler cross-stitch as I’m a glutton for punishment.  I finally got some work done on my fantasy novel.  It’s hard to find time to write, but there you go.  I have the plot outlined and am working on character development.  Writing is a PAIN IN THE ASS, but I love it.

8.      Still head-over-heels in love with Paul.  Woot!

Yeah, that’s probably about all the major stuff.  I’ve probably missed some things.

Are you still angry with me, blog?  No?  Ok, I love you, too.  What?  You want me to prove it.  Well…ok…

*looks around stealthily and hugs the screen*

My friend Ryan posted a 23ish minute video on Facebook that recalls the history of gaming consoles (including computers).   The good ol’ Atari 2600 was on there, premiering in October 1977 (6 months before I made my debut on this planet).  My parents bought a 2600 for my sister and I to play with on our way back from Germany in 1982.  I think it was to keep us quiet and busy…but hey.  We had it for years and I have fond memories of wasting my early years playing Pitfall and Pacman and Donkey Kong.

It made me remember my family’s first computer…an Atari 130XE computer.  Dad bought it from a buddy of his.  It came with a 1050 disk drive, a dot matrix printer, and a modem.  A MODEM!  I remember seeing the Internet for the first time when I was seven, but it wasn’t anything too impressive.  Just a bulletin board and you had to speak the machine language in order to talk to other geeks.   Here’s a pic of my computer:

My beloved Atari...how I miss thee!

I can still remember how to use it…

1. Turn on the TV and make sure the switch in the back is slid to “computer” and not “TV.”  (*assumed Old Fogey voice*  In the old days, children, our computers were hooked into our televisions unless you owned one them fancy-shmancy Apple IIe’s or a Commodore 64…).
2. Turn on the floppy drive.
3. Put the floppy disk in the disk drive.  Here’s what a floppy looks like in case you don’t remember…
   

   Never hold it near the phone or it might get erased...

4. Boot up the computer by holding down the “Select” switch and flipping the “On” switch located in the rear on the left.
5. Wait a million years for the blue screen to appear with the menu.
6. Type the first four letters of the game you want, followed by *.*.  Example: Moon Patrol (LOVED that game).  Moon*.*
7. Make sure joysticks are plugged in.
8. PLAY!

I learned how to solve puzzles much too hard for me thanks to text adventures published by Infocom.  Ah, Infocom.  My sister and I used to spend hours trying to solve those frustrating puzzles.  No graphics, just words to describe your surroundings.  We had to draw maps of locations using pencils and paper.  Out of the 7 or 8 text adventure games we owned, I think I only solved two: Wishbringer (*insert expletive here* WISHBRINGER!!  I still hate that game, no matter how cool it is) and Moonmist.  My favorite game was Moonmist. 

Read the Wiki articles to learn more about them, but they were a bunch of fun.  I loved the “Feelies” that came with the game.  Several years ago, “Treasures of Infocom” was released on CD-ROM.  I was able to finish some of the games we owned, like “Hollywood Hijinx” and “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and “Zork.”  I also played some games I’d never tried and some that were created especially for the collection, like “Plundered Hearts.”  It was a text-adventure romance novel…very silly, very cheesy, complete with evil villains who will ravish you and swashbuckling heroes to save you.  And heaving bosoms, because you have to have a heaving bosom if you’re a romance novel heroine.

It’s partially because of the Atari and text adventures that I became friends with Lynette, but that’s another story.

I saw a complete Atari 130XE system on sale on eBay for $40 and it had 9 bids.  Holy cow!  If we only had the room and the closet wasn’t stuffed with random computer parts thanks to being married to a computer geek, I’d have placed a bid just so I could hear the gronkedy-grondkedy-cahrink-cahrink-sssshssssshhhh spinning of the disk drive one more time.

Thems were the days.

*blowing dust off the ol’ blog*  Heh…sorry ’bout the neglect there, oh Blog of My Heart.  It’s been about 3 months since I reported anything going on in my life.  Let me see if I can recapture…

1. Went to California to work on a show and visit family.  That was tons of fun!  I chilled out with Yoda at Lucasfilm and it was cool.  Mom broke her foot in three places and was in the hospital for a week while her insurance company and the hospital refused to talk to each other.  That wasn’t so cool.
2. Nora started crawling, pulling herself up, and cruising around furniture.  Yay!  She’s getting into EVERYTHING.
3. A neighbor dented my parked car and I got a check from his insurance company to get it fixed.   Still need to do that.
4. I had 2 teaching interviews.  I didn’t get one and the other is still up in the air.
5. I gained some more weight.

Number Five is definitely not a “yay.”  Holy Buffalo Butts, Batman!  This is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my whole life and I hate it!  I don’t even weigh myself anymore because it just makes me mad.  It’s kind of pointless, anyway, as my pants have told me that I haven’t lost any weight.  So, here is where I bitch for the umpteenth time about my lifelong battle with weight and how I hate it and I lay out my plan to lose weight that will ultimately fail…but maybe I’ll be a few pounds lighter after failing this time.  I’ll take that over the size I am now!

I’ll spare you the rant.  I’m pretty sure most of you are familiar with it by now, but to sum up: Obesity runs in the family.  I have bad genes and an even badder jean size (har har har).  I’ve been heavy since puberty (I was not a fat kid by any means).  I had a baby and apparently that directed my body to go, “WOO HOO!  Let’s gain 50 pounds!”

Here’s a what I’m a gonna do!  First, I’m going to get off my butt.  I’m going to put Nora in the stroller and walk the trail at Nichols Park and do the activity thingamabobbers that are placed at regular intervals along the trail twice a week.  I’m unemployed and I can’t afford the gym.  My taxes pay for the parks, so I should probably use what I pay for.  The other days I’m going to do stuff on the WiiFit (except for the Plank…forget it, I HATE that exercise).  Second, I’m going to start eating better.  *waving good-bye sadly to Taco Bell*  Oh, but I’m going to miss the Bell.  It’s my weak spot.  And less eating out.  This is also good for my wallet because unlike a skinny me, I do not want a skinny wallet.  A fat wallet is nicer!

So what brought this on?  Honestly…”Lazy Town.”  I’m such a dork.  Nora was bouncing up and down in my lap and I turned on the “Bing Bang” song from the show on Youtube.  She LOVED it and went nuts.  So I turned on an episode for her to watch.  Watching Sportacus and Stephanie running everywhere and flipping around the screen made me nostalgic for when I could (sort of) do that.  Not that I could ever do it again, but I certainly could be in better shape.  So yes, I’ll admit it.  A bizarre kids’ show from Iceland motivated me to get off my butt and lose weight.

I also want to be around to see my grand kids.  I really want to be in better shape if I have another baby.  I want to be strong and in shape to birth that baby without drugs and medical intervention (that’s another story).  And you know what?  I truly miss being active.  I miss dancing and I miss being able to do the splits.  I miss being able to dance the Lilt without falling over gasping for air.  I miss playing tennis.  I know I’ll be able to do all those again if I can lose this weight.  Well, I also miss being able to do back flips, but I’m going to chalk that up to Growing Up and not Becoming Fat (but I still miss it).  I really want to try new things, but they’re hard to do when you’re heavy.  This is unacceptable and I’m going to do something about it.

I’m not going to get Bariatric Surgery.  I would barely qualify, anyway, and forget that…I’m not desperate enough to go under the knife.  Besides, you have to stop eating certain foods because your stomach is stapled/sleeved/whatever and I don’t want to give up eating the foods I love…I just have to stop eating unhealthy ones so much!

Also, I eat when I’m bored or depressed.  I’m home on the couch all the time, so bored, so eating.  Then I hate the way I look and get depressed, so I eat.  The cycle has got to stop, so getting off the couch and moving is the key.  I won’t be bored and the natural rise in endorphins that exercise causes will help keep depression at bay.

I don’t care if I never fit into Misses clothing or wear a size 12.  I know I’ll always be “big” thanks to my good German engineering (I’m a Farfegnugen!).  Let’s face it, folks.  I was a size 12 when I was 14 years old.  Now I have hips, Womanly Hips that have borne a baby.  Size 12, schmelve!  I’ll never be that skinny again because my frame has changed.  A 16 wouldn’t be bad, though.

So, tomorrow, while the rest of the world is working, my unemployed stay-at-home-mother hinder is going to lace up my sneakers, grab the stroller and a baby, and go for a walk (plus whatever the activity path throws at me…Oh God, I hope it’s not pull-ups…I could never do those).

And I won’t go to Taco Bell on the way back….maybe.